Is Happiness Really Just a Frame of Mind?

While going through a package of inspirational-type greeting cards today, I stumbled on one that had the message "Happiness is a choice; You can choose it or not". It was everything a motivational saying is supposed to be: extremely over-generalized, thought-evoking and just a little bit cliche. The phrase rang familiarly in my mind being that I've heard that phrase over and over, though paraphrased differently each time. I wondered, is happiness really and honestly a choice that people can make? Why is society so set on thinking that we can MAKE ourselves happy, almost in terms of instant gratification?

Coming from someone who has struggled with severe depression, the fact that someone thinks you can CHOOSE to be happy is mysteriously pompous. Don't you think that if people could choose to be happy, they would? Why is this world full of outwardly miserable people if choosing to be happy is as seemingly "easy" as picking out which combo dinner you want at McDonald's? Truth is, it's not that easy and happiness is not a simple "choice".

Before you stop reading, hear me out. I do agree that though our individualistic actions we can CHOOSE to have a certain frame of mind, but I do not believe that "happiness" is one of those frames; And we shouldn't be made to feel guilty because of this. We can choose to be positive, hateful, patient, and even choose to be kind. During the day we have free will and the ability to choose how we will respond to certain circumstances and situations. Yes, those are choices we conscientiously make and that will ultimately affect how positively or negatively our day will go. However, those are difficult choices as well depending on factors that affect people differently. For example, if you have a night that you get poor sleep and wake up feeling unrested, chances are, you're not going to be the most patient person. This isn't necessarily a choice given to us though due to extrenuating circumstances. No one chooses to get poor sleep, thus how can they choose to have a frame of mind that is being affected by that poor sleep? Their reaction is instinctual based on their environment and factors regarding personality, elements and uncontrollable happenings (ie: sleep example). Also, if someone has depression and wakes up just feeling sad, how is that mind-altering disorder a choice? Are they choosing to be sad? Does the fact that they are having a miserable day due to chemical imbalances in their mind mean they are not choosing to be happy and have a happy day? Hm.

So though it is a nice thought to say that happiness is a choice, I don't necessarily think that it's fair to judge yourself too harshly on this theory. You can choose to do things in your life that may lead to happiness, but being happy, in and of itself, is not a simple, instantly gratifying choice.

#thoughtoftheday